Get Motivated Through Effective Goal Setting

February 2nd, 2010

Every New Year people make new resolutions to improve their lives like going to the gym, eating healthy, spending more time with the family, and the list goes on. But by February 1st, most of those resolutions are out the window. There are many reasons people fail to maintain these goals from setting unrealistic goals to choosing goals that are at odds with one’s lifestyle and values. The key to being successful at achieving your goals is threefold: 1) align goals with your needs and values, 2) use effective goal strategies-SMART goals 3) track progress to evaluate and revise goals.

Align goals with your needs and values. Too often goals are set to accomplish things that we have been dreading. Maybe you really value your health and want to exercise more often. But if you hate going to the gym, it’s pretty unlikely you’ll ever succeed at making this a regular routine. Rather, you should evaluate how you can accomplish this goal doing activities that fit with your values and interests. For someone who is a very social person, they could make exercise a group activity. Another person might be curious by nature and loves to learn new things, so they would choose to learn a new sport. Aligning your goals to fit your personality and lifestyle makes goal setting fun, interesting, more likely to succeed, and thus provides more motivation to help you accomplish your goals.

Use effective goal strategies—SMART goals. You may have heard this acronym before, but knowing exactly what it means is vital to effectively and efficiently achieving goals.

SPECIFIC: The goal must be very specific to help give you direction and so that you can evaluate your performance. An example of a general goal is “Be more productive at work”, whereas a specific goal would be “Close my office door from 9am-11am every day and reserve this time to work on high-priority, time-intensive projects”.

MEASURABLE: You need to have concrete objectives to measure your progress toward the goal. Keep in mind this will often change over time. For example in the first week you might want to exercise 3 days for 20 minutes, and then in week two increase the time to 30 minutes.

ATTAINABLE: The goal must be within your reach, yet it should also be a stretch. You want to make it challenging to keep you motivated, but not too difficult that it’s impossible to attain. As you succeed, you may become more ambitious, confident, and see that you have been setting the bar too low!

REALISTIC: It is important to consider your skills and abilities, as well as resources when setting goals. If you want to spend time pursuing a new goal, that means you’ll have to reduce the amount of time spent on another activity. Remember that it takes time to change and develop new habits. Take small enough steps that it is doable, but don’t make it too easy.

TIMELY: Goals need to have an end in sight, so always determine a target date. Often you will need to plan out the steps needed to accomplish the goal in time, so make sure to set interim deadlines for each step.

Track progress to evaluate and revise goals. Write it down! One of the easiest yet effective strategies to help with goal setting and accomplishment is to have it on paper. The initial goal and plan to accomplish it are a contract that increase accountability. You also need to track your progress, which can serve as both motivation (look what I accomplished this week!), and a gauge of if your plan is realistic. If you are not making good progress, you probably need to lower your standards. But if you are progressing without challenge, you probably need to raise the bar. Once you have evaluated your progress, revise goals as necessary and set new goals. This is an ongoing process because once you’ve attained a goal, you need a new goal to keep you moving forward!

Strength of the Day: Fairness

November 6th, 2009

Fairness: Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting personal feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance.

 

How to Increase Your Fairness: 5 Simple Tips

 

-Don’t Judge:  Take note of times you are judging people especially based on a first impression or from just one occassion. Think about other reasons for a person’s behavior or if your thoughts are biased.

 

-Stand Up in Situations that are Unfair: Take action and speak up about unfair situations. Everyone wants things to be fair, so chances are others are thinking the same as you. Many people aren’t willing to speak up, so take the opportunity to make things right or at least make the unjustice known.

 

-Pull Your Weight: Make sure you are contributing your fair share of the work, whether at home, work, or in a team environment.

 

-Enforce the Rules: As a parent, boss, or leader, be clear about the rules and then enforce them. No one likes it when one person breaks the rules without consequences. Set the standard early and stick to your guns about consequences to create a fair environment. This will keep people happy, maintain productivity, and help create good relationships.

 

-Listen to the Full Story: When issues arise, make sure that you get the facts and hear all sides of the story before passsing judgement. Often things aren’t what they seem and problems could just be a matter of miscommunication.

This is the Strength of the Day series. The purpose is to give you ideas of how you can use each of the 24 character strengths. Use this strength throughout the day at least 5 times. At the end of the day, think about how it felt. Do you already use this strength often? Then it is probably one of your top strengths. Do you rarely use this strength? If it made you feel good, maybe you want to continue using it more! If it was not your cup of tea, choose other strengths to focus on.

Please comment to add other ideas for using this strength!

Your coach,

Tanya

Tanya A. Jacobsen, MAPP
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Activate Your Potential Coaching
(240) 888-0061
CoachTanya@activate-your-potential.com
http://activate-your-potential.com

Take the FREE Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths questionnaire to learn your top character strengths at www.viacharacter.org or www.authentichappiness.com.

Sources:

Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Strengths of character and wellbeing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 (5), 603-619.

Strength of the Day: Creativity

October 28th, 2009

Creativity [originality, ingenuity]: Thinking of novel and productive ways to do things; includes artistic achievement but is not limited to it.

How to Increase Your Creativity

-Meditation: Research has shown that if you meditate regularly, it can alter the brain in positive ways. Additionally, it increases self-awareness and can thus open up your mind to new thoughts and ideas. You can sign up for a meditation class or try it on your own. There are lots of books and resources on the internet that can guide you through step-by-step.

-Relaxation: Take time every day to relax in a quiet environment. No TV, music, cell phone, internet, or any other distractions. Even if it is only five minutes, stop and do nothing. Let your thoughts wonder, pick something to think about that you enjoy, do deep breathing, or progressive relaxation exercises. Giving your brain a rest from daily tasks and routines will allow you to become more thoughtful and creative.

-Environment: Is your workplace or home drab and depressing? Spruce it up to create an inspiring, comfortable environment rather than one that’s stressful or boring. Decorate with paint, pictures, plants, curtains, or other artwork. Put out puzzles, interesting coffee table books, or other inspiring knickknacks to facilitate abstract thought and conversation. The act of decorating and thinking about how to decorate will get your creative thoughts going!

-Enjoy the Arts: Spend more time enjoying arts that you find inspiring. Whether it’s listening to music, admiring art, watching movies, or reading books or poetry. Make sure to choose something inspiring that will help expand your mind in new ways.

-Do Artistic Activities: Do you have any hobbies, ideas for new projects, or is there something you’d like to learn? Maybe it’s playing the guitar, art lessons, creating a picture album, or building something for your home. Try to bring more of these types of activities into your life.

-Be Open to Ideas and Suggestions: Listen to other people’s ideas and opinions. If you’re not naturally creative, you can get ideas of how to think outside the box by paying attention to how others think and reason. Don’t jump to conclusions, shoot down ideas, or discount anything. Try to see where they’re coming from and ask questions to help them expand on their thoughts. This will also help you understand them better.

-Break Your Routine: Take simple tasks and do them in a different way. Try brushing your teeth with your left hand, drive a different way than your typical route, don’t follow the recipe verbatim. Who knows what you’ll learn or find out!

This is the Strength of the Day series. The purpose is to give you ideas of how you can use each of the 24 character strengths. Use this strength throughout the day at least 5 times. At the end of the day, think about how it felt. Do you already use this strength often? Then it is probably one of your top strengths. Do you rarely use this strength? If it made you feel good, maybe you want to continue using it more! If it was not your cup of tea, choose other strengths to focus on.

Please comment to add other ideas for using this strength!

Your coach,

Tanya

Tanya A. Jacobsen, MAPP
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Activate Your Potential Coaching
(240) 888-0061
CoachTanya@activate-your-potential.com
http://activate-your-potential.com

Take the FREE Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths questionnaire to learn your top character strengths at www.viacharacter.org or www.authentichappiness.com.

Sources:

Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Strengths of character and wellbeing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 (5), 603-619.

Rener, P. B. (2009, November/December) Meditation on demand: New research reveals the cell mechanisms underlying a meditative state. Scientific American Mind, 20, 65-67.

Strength of the Day: Citizenship

October 24th, 2009

Citizenship [social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork]: Working well as a member of a group or team; being loyal to the group; doing one’s share.

  • -Strengthen your role in the family. Help out with chores or tasks that you don’t usually do. Work as a team and try to make chores fun. Try to tailor activities toward each person’s strengths. For example, if you enjoy cooking take the lead. This could also be a good opportunity for teamwork by having your children, spouse, or friends help you cook. Organize fun family activities to increase quality family time.
  • -Take responsibility for your actions. We all have a natural tendency to proclaim innocence and defend our actions. The next time you make a mistake, accept responsibility, apologize for your actions, and explain how you will set things right or act differently in the future. This will be much better received and is less likely to lead to tense situations or arguments.
  • -Volunteer. There are endless possibilities or you can create your own. Find a cause you believe in or an activity that interests you. If you like politics, volunteer to campaign or help with elections. If you love sports, volunteer to coach or train others. If you like working with your hands, volunteer to build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Use skills and knowledge from your job to help others. Offer to do favors, like babysitting, for friends, neighbors or family.
  • -Make a Donation to Charity. Set aside money in your budget to donate to your favorite charities. Go through your house and donate things you no longer need to goodwill. Contribute to food drives or other oganized events in your community or workplace.
  • -Offer to help your coworkers. People appreciate your help, especially if it’s not expected. Maybe it’s just a simple task like stuffing envelopes, but it can make the task more fun and go much faster. The next time you need help with a project, others will be likely to offer their time.

This is the Strength of the Day series. The purpose is to give you ideas of how you can use each of the 24 character strengths. Use this strength throughout the day at least 5 times. At the end of the day, think about how it felt. Do you already use this strength often? Then it is probably one of your top strengths. Do you rarely use this strength? If it made you feel good, maybe you want to continue using it more! If it was not your cup of tea, choose other strengths to focus on.

Please comment to add other ideas for using this strength!

Your coach,

Tanya

Tanya A. Jacobsen, MAPP
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Activate Your Potential Coaching
(240) 888-0061
CoachTanya@activate-your-potential.com
http://activate-your-potential.com

Take the FREE Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths questionnaire to learn your top character strengths at www.viacharacter.org or www.authentichappiness.com.

Source: Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Strengths of character and wellbeing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 (5), 603-619.

Strength of the Day: Bravery

October 23rd, 2009

Bravery [valor]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what is right even if there is opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it.

  • -Go for it! Is there something you’ve been wanting to do but have been hesitant? Maybe it’s trying something new, making a career change, asking someone on a date, or standing up for yourself.
  • -Be more aware of situations where you tend to feel nervous or uncomfortable. Think about ways you can try to overcome your anxiety. Visualize yourself feeling calm and confident in these situations. Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?” Usually it’s not that bad:) Get someone else’s opinion…people tend to be a lot harder on themselves so this can help put things in perspective.
  • -Challenge yourself. Do you usually do the minimim or shy away from taking on challenges? Offer to take on more responsibility, set your goals higher if you can achieve them easily, or take yourself to the next level. When people prepare themselves mentally, they can accomplish much more than they realize. Activate your FULL potential!
  • -Step up to help others in need. Next time you see somenone who has dropped something, is lost, or needs help; take action first. Don’t wait to see if others around you will help them. You will be setting an example and others will follow your lead.
  • -Be the leader. Some people are natural leaders and like that role. But often there are groups where no one wants to be the leader. If you typically don’t take the leadership position, give it a try. People need a leader to function well in groups and most like to follow. It is very rewarding knowing people are looking up to you.

Note that bravery is not arrogance. Brave people tend to have humility and don’t want to be recognized for their efforts. They can have pride, but that is different than bragging. You can tell the difference by how others perceive them. People appreciate and are in awe of those who are brave.

This is the Strength of the Day series. The purpose is to give you ideas of how you can use each of the 24 character strengths. Use this strength throughout the day at least 5 times. At the end of the day, think about how it felt. Do you already use this strength often? Then it is probably one of your top strengths. Do you rarely use this strength? If it made you feel good, maybe you want to continue using it more! If it was not your cup of tea, choose other strengths to focus on.

Please comment to add you ideas for using this strength!

Your coach,

Tanya

Tanya A. Jacobsen, MAPP
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Activate Your Potential Coaching
(240) 888-0061
CoachTanya@activate-your-potential.com
http://activate-your-potential.com

Take the FREE Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths questionnaire to learn your top character strengths at www.viacharacter.org or www.authentichappiness.com.

Source: Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Strengths of character and wellbeing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 (5), 603-619.

Strength of the Day: Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

October 22nd, 2009

This is the first in the Strength of the Day series. The purpose is to give you ideas of how you can use each of the 24 character strengths. Use this strength throughout the day at least 5 times. At the end of the day, think about how it felt. Do you already use this strength often? Then it is probably one of your top strengths. Do you rarely use this strength? If it made you feel good, maybe you want to continue using it more! If it was not your cup of tea, choose other strengths to focus on.

Appreciation of beauty and excellence [awe, wonder, elevation]: Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

  • -Notice the beauty of nature on your way to work.
  • -Complement someone on their excellent performance or skills. (Make sure it’s genuine!)
  • -Find something beautiful in something ordinary.
  • -Watch the sunrise or sunset.
  • -Listen to the birds.
  • -Go on a walk and take note of new things you never noticed before.
  • -When you step outside, take a deep breath to apprecite the smell of fresh air.
  • -Go to a museum that facinates you.
  • -Take note of different types of architecture.

Finally, when you take time to appreciate something, share it with another person. This will help open their mind to new things they didn’t notice before either! See if it leads to good conversation.

Please comment with your ideas for how to use this strength!

Your coach,

Tanya

Tanya A. Jacobsen, MAPP
Positive Psychology Life Coach
Activate Your Potential Coaching
(240) 888-0061
CoachTanya@activate-your-potential.com
http://activate-your-potential.com

Take the FREE Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths questionnaire to learn your top character strengths at www.viacharacter.org or www.authentichappiness.com.

Source: Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Strengths of character and wellbeing. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 (5), 603-619.

Dr. Martin Selgman:Why You Should Take the Strengths Test

September 5th, 2009


Dr. Seligman is the founder of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania. He explains why it is important to take the strengths test. You can take the free VIA Character Strengths test at www.viacharacter.org or at www.authentichappiness.org.

Character Strengths: How they can help you enjoy life and be more successful

September 4th, 2009

Resilience and Persistance in the Face of Challenge

August 28th, 2009

I have always loved sports and competed in many including swimming, gymnastics, track, and triathlons. My childhood dream was to become an olympic gymnast. Although this was not realistic, there is one sport where competing in the olympics is actually possible–curling. (Check out www.curlingrocks.net  if you’re interested in learning more.)

This past winter, I played on a new women’s team and qualified for the 2010 Olympic Trials. There were 10 teams competing, and our goal was to place in the top 4 to make the playoffs. Because our team was ranked last, our first 3 games were against very challenging teams. We trailed in the beginning of all games, but fought back to make it close. Although our record was 0-3, we still had a good chance with 6 games left. Game after game, we trailed, fought hard, and made it close, but lost. Our final record was 0-9. It was a very challenging week and each loss impacted us. But as a team, we battled through. We played each game hard, always believed we would pull off a win, and looked forward to the next shot.

To make it through the week took resilience and persistance.

  • We never gave up
  • We kept fighting
  • We believed
  • We looked forward
  • We searched for possibilities
  • We stuck together
  • We gave it our all

The next time you find youself really being challenged:

  • Evaluate the situation and move forward
  • Don’t let poor past performance affect future performance
  • Remember that you learn more from challenging experiences
  • Focus on the positive aspects

Changing a Bad Mood Thru Self-Awarness and Action

August 26th, 2009

It was just one of those bad days. Work was stressful and busy and I had no time to take a lunch break. By the time I got home, I was in a bad mood and defenses were on high. Immediately when my fiance said something to me, I interpreted it as a personal attack and snapped at him. With no appetite for dinner or desire to be around people, I went to lie in bed. As I lay there, a bit of self-awareness poked through into my consciousness. I realized that I needed to take action to cut through this foul mood. I knew dwelling on my thoughts would make things worse, so with all my willpower, I dragged myself up out of bed and to the gym for a good run on the treadmill. Not 1 minute into my run, my ipod died, but I pushed myself and kept going. It took a good 10 minutes, but eventually the blood was flowing, good chemicals were pumping through my body, and the distraction of exercise changed my mood.

I wasn’t always able to take action to combat my moods, but by developing greater self-awareness and knowledge that ACTION was what I needed rather than rumination, I have much more ability to control and change my moods.

Self-Awareness: recoginizing your current state–physical, emotional, and mental.

How can you increase your self-awareness?

  1. Meditation
  2. ABC’s–understanding how Adversity, Beliefs, and Consequences (behaviors and emotions) are interrelated
  3. Cues like saying STOP to interrupt negative thoughts
  4. Learn from experience and practice over time

Action

  1. physical exercise affects moods and thoughts
  2. JUST DO IT and don’t over-think things
  3. Let your gut decide
  4. Make a decision and move forward–leave the past behind
  5. Learn what actions help boost your mood and worsen your mood